Thank you Pau :)

11:57 PM 7/20/2014

I got my new haircut the day before yesterday. I did not intend to make it looked like the styles of those characters I adore so much but what happened amused me. It was like I planned to have this kind of look.
That same day, I also had my new pair of glasses. Well, it was my very first time to have one. I am still not used to wear them but I'm trying my best not to feel ashamed everytime I am using them.
Now, here I am having a hard time adjusting with my new eyewear and my new haircut. The bangs sometimes irritates me still because I have to always check if they are still intact or not. Everthing was not
planned. I just decided to have these new things because I was meeting someone the day after that which was yesterday. He was just a friend but, well I don't know, I just want to meet him with a new me.
Nothing really matter though. When we met, all we did was talked everthing we thought could be shared to each other and nothing else. We watched "She's Dating the Gangster" at 4:30pm. It was around 4pm
when we entered the cinema. It was really dark in there even before the movie started. He suggested to sit in the back. Literally, we sat in the farthest middle seats at the back. Those were good spots to watch
the movie, I thought. He told me he would just take a nap since the movie was yet to start. He didn't know it but I felt uneasy when he leaned his head on my shoulder. I don't like him more than friends but I
felt nervous when he did such a thing. I woke him up when the movie was about to start and when I felt every inch of my left shoulder down to my hand was being paralyzed by the uneasy feeling. The story
was good but the whole movie watching was certainly not. The audience was so noisy. I could hear cheers and shoutings every now and then because of their crazy love to the young actor featured in the
movie. I couldn't blame them because DJ is really adorable. He has the appeal that many people would surely embrace. After watching the movie, we decided to go home. However, I asked him for dinner. I did not
know why but it was justoff for me to go home without eating. Maybe because I was indeed hungry. I again felt uneasy when we were having dinner at Wendy's. He told me that I was too self-conscious. I explained
but he just ignored it and added that I was too redundant and repeating. I thought for awhile because he was serious when he told me that. I couldn't explain my feelings. I did not know if I was hurt or I was just
absorbing every words he said. After awhile, he blurted and asked me why I became silent - that I did not actually noticed. I was too busy constructing and thinking my next sentence. Unconsciously, I told him why
was he he being mean and serious. I told him I was conscious because of his presence. The idea was so absurd! I was careless and I just blurted what my mind was thinking at all. We parted after our dinner. That
made me sad and unsatisfied. I felt that I somehow offended him. I don't know until now but I regret being like that in front of him. I hopped in the train going back home at around seven. All the way home, I was
thinking what had happened. The night was too quiet. I couldn't here the sound of everything around me. I was preoccupied by random thoughts.
Being paid by doing a job that does not require physical strenght or any sacrifices beyond your skills and intelligence is a winning formula when combined with the freedom you hardly find in many companies. I used
think exactly like this. I remembered him telling me what were my plans. I couldn't actually answer him because I do not have any to start with. What do I want? Who am I right now? My answer is I think I should
give myself time to reflect to answer these questions.
What do I want?
Basically, I want to make my family happy. I want to be happy.  I love watching anime. I love Japanese. I want to learn and have a career with it. I also want to meet someone to share my dreams.
How to have the things I want?
I have to work hard to earn for my family. As for the second, I'm happy as long as I can do the things that make me happy. I have to study. I have to learn.
Am I on the right path to obtain my goals?
Big No.
What should I do?
Be seriously dedicated and disciplined.
Nothing could be achieved without sacrificing anything. I knew it all along. From now on, I promise, with the guidance of the Lord up there, I will do my best to do everything to reach my goal. Non-sense set
aside, I know what I want and no matter what they say, I will achieve it with my own feet and hands. :)

Aladdin, I have a friend :)

I slept so late last night because of this chibi magi. Oh Aladdin, why are you so cute? :3

This cute boy is Aladdin of Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. Though he's small, this kid has manly interests. He is so wise and composed. He is a magi, a person above all magicians.

He is a best friend of Alibaba. I really love how he says "Alibaba-kun". kawaii <3 <3 <3.

By the way, you're way too kind, too cute, too everything and oh my God, I really admire you! hahaha






I'm looking forward to seeing you again later. I just hope I can prevent myself from sleeping so late 'cause it's really hard to wake up in the morning.

Oh by the way, this morning, I win a friend. Her name is May. Uhm, she'll be my new roommate from today. I actually don't like her at first because she resembles a girl I really don't like. But when she approached me, I was very sorry for thinking like that. I really hope we'll be in good terms moving forward 'cause she's really nice. As I dressed for work, she asked me if I'm working in an office. I said "yes". She then said, "woah. That's cool. I'm working, too but in a restaurant as a waitress." Then she smiled at me. She is cute, actually. Wahhh, I don't want to praise her because she really resembled "that girl". hahaha. She told me she stopped studying and was working for her family. I want us to become close and I really hope we will be good friends like Aladdin and Alibaba.

 haha. Not to mention that she really makes me remember a girl I really don't like. :(

I guess I should move on, right? Oh well, as long as there's a kawaii chibi Aladdin-kun there, I guess everything would be fine. :)

 Ne, Aladdin-kun? :)

Least Expected Moment

This morning, I opened my twitter account and lo!

Here is what I saw:

He doesn't know how I much I like him, though. I hope next time I'll have the courage to talk/chat with him. I guess it's not wrong to be inspired by this person :))

By the way! Hi James. Let's have a coffee and talk sometime when you're not busy >.<

Iskolar para sa Bayan ang Tawag sa Akin

Freshman pa lang ako, madalas ko nang marinig sa paligid ko ang mga katagang Isko at Iska. Bakit? Dahil nanggaling ako sa unibersidad kung saan ang mga mag aaral ay tinatawag ang kanilang mga sarili na iskolar ng bayan para sa bayan. Humahanga talaga ako sa mga mag aaral na kayang iparating sa nakatataas ang kanilang mga saloobinat suhesyon ukol sa iba't ibang isyu sa loob at labas ng campus. Ngunit hanggang paghanga na lamang ang aking nagawa hanggang sa makatapos ako ng kolehiyo.
Minsan, nagkaroon ng pagpupulong ang mga lider ng iba't ibang organisasyon ng unibersidad. Magkahalong damdamin ang aking nararamdaman ng mga panahong iyon nang marinig kong magsalita sa aming harapan ang University Student Council Chairperson ng taon na iyon. Inilahad niya ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa kanya at sa kanyang mga kasamahan habang ipinaglalaban ang karapatan ng ilan nating mga kababayan sa Quezon. Hindi ko alam na maymga nagaganap na palang ganun habang ako ay abalang abala sa pag iisip kung pano ibabudget ang aking aloowance sa isang linggo, habang nakikipagkwentuhan ako sa math canteen at habang nag aaral akong mabuti para sa exam ng isang mahigpit kay Ms Minchin na propesor. Hindi naman lingid sa aking kaalaman ang mga isyu sa aking paligid sa loob pa lang ng unibersidad: pagtaas ng tuition, komersyalisasyon sa loob ng unibersidad at kahit ang mga simpleng pagpapahirap sa mga mag aaral sa panahon ng registration period. Alam ko lahat ngunit hindi ko alam na may mga kabataan pala talagana kayang kumilos at unahin ang paglutas sa mga ganitong isyu kaysa ang pagkakaroon ng normal na buhay mag aaral sa loob ng campus.
Simple lang akong mag aaral. Hindi ako laude. Hindi rin ako kilala. Hindi kami mayaman. Normal lang na mag aaral. Ang nasa isip ko lang habang nag aaral, kelangan kong gumraduate on time para sa aking pamilya. Pagkatapos ko ng pag aaral, maghahanap ako ng trabaho at magpapadala sa kapatid at magulang ko at mag eenjoy kasi may pera na ko. Makakapunta na ako sa mga gusto kong puntahan na kasama ko pa ang aking mga kaibigan, Sa madaling salita, nagagawa ko na yung mga gusto ko kasi nakapagtapos na ako. Tumutulong naman ako sa mga kaya kong tulungan kapag humiihingi sila sa akin ng tulong.
Bakit ko ito isinulat? Kahapon, nanunood ako ng telebisyon at nandun ang isang sikat na artista at senador. Nagsasalita siya. Sinasabing sangkot siya sa PDAF scam at siyempre itinatanggi niya. Wala naman ako sa posisyon para husgahan agad siya dahil wala naman akong gaanong alam sa katotohanan. Subalit bigla akong nainis.
Gaano kaya kami kadami? Hindi ko alam ang kaya kong gawin upang baguhin ang sistema. Ayokong tumulad sa ibang nagrarally sa kalsada. Hindi ko alam kung epektibo ba ang ginagawa nila. Nakikinig ba sa kanila ang mga nakakataas? O tinatawanan lang sila ng iba? Humahanga ako sa kanila dahil sa kanilang dedikasyong isulong ang pagbabago para sa ikauunlad ng bansa at ng mga mamamayan nito. Iniisip ko din naman na sana may maitulong ako ngunit sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung sa papanong paraan.
Bakit nga ba ako tinawag na isa sa mga Iskolar Para sa Bayan?
It is indeed very clear that many of us, scholars, chose to pursue our own goals and interests over the responsibility we held to help our country and its people. As I write this article, sinisimulan ko nang magsaliksik ng mga dapat kong malaman tungkol sa mga nangyayari sa ating lipunan. Hindi sapat ang aking kaalaman ngunit naniniwala akong hindi na natin kailangang maghintay na turuan tayo ng mga dapat nating gawin upang makapagsimula tayo.
Kung patuloy nating hahayaang makinabang ang mga taong nananamantala sa atin,
PAANO na ang mga Pilipinong walang kakayanang ipahayag ang kanilang saloobin?
PAANO na ang mga Pilipinong nanlalamig sa pagtulog sa lansangan tuwing gabi at umuulan?
PAANO na ang mga Pilipinong walang hirap na hirap na sa pag iisip kung pa'no pagkakasyahin ang kakaunting kita na binawasan pa ng malaking porsyento ng buwis na hindi nila maramdaman kung saan napupunta?
PAANO na ang mga taong walang alam sa mga nangyayari dahil kahit telebisyon o radyo hindi sila makabili.
Nakakainis.
May mga nag iiyakan dahil naubusan ng ticket sa concert. May nag aaway dahil hindi makapili ng mas magandang condo unit. May mga pulitikong paulit ulit sinisira ang kalsada para lamang ipagawa ulit. May mga taong gumagastos para sa paggawa ng tarpaulin para lamang bumati ng congratulations o merry christmas kung saan ang laki laki ng mukha nila na tinatabunan ang ika nga'y pagbati nila. May mga taong kakabili pa lamang ng iphone5s, nakarinig lang ng bagong version, hindi na mapakali kung kelan siya pupunta ng mall para bumili noon. Susmaryosep!!!
Kung ganyan ng ganyan ang mga bagay na nangyayari sa paligid mo, kahit 'di mo pansinin, mapipilitan kang imulat ang 'yong mga mata sa mga pangyayari. Gugustuhin mo na na magsimula ng hakbang para matigil na ang mga bagay na ito. Hindi sila nakakaranas ng gutom at lamig. Kung nagugutom man sila, dahil yun sa diet. Kung nilalamig man sila, dahil yun sa aircon. Hindi ko naman kailangang panindigan ang pagiging Iskolar para sa bayan. Tawag lang yun. Darating yung panahon na hindi mo namamalayang nagiging concern ka na talaga sa mga pangyayari sa paligid dahil lubha nang nakaaabuso ang ilan sa nakararami habang ang iba ay bulag sa takbo ng mga pangyayari sa bansa.

I WANT TO PLAY RPG

I have been wanting to play SAO but I dunno where to get or how to play the game. I never tried playing RPG. I like Sword Art Online but I really have no experience in playing this kind of game. :( I feel so frustrated. I dunno where should I start...

Never Wait Forever to Make Friends

Making friends is easy. Keeping them is a whole new thing.

Anime often highlights topics about friendship. Have you ever wonder why?

The relationships we have with those important people we call "friends" make a huge part of who we are. They say that "birds of the same feather flock" together". The idea is that people with common interests tend to get closer and to form deeper relationships with each other. 

Well, that makes sense. However, those interests are also the barriers that we built and put around ourselves allowing others with the same fences to come in but often rejecting those who failed to meet our standards.

"Hey, I love Math!" "Me,too. Let's be friends!".

"Yo, I love anime!" "Oh, really. How boring."

Don't freak out! These are just examples of what I am talking about. Of course, anime is not boring! However, this is reality. There are those people who don't want to talk to someone because they already tagged them as "somebody I know and that's enough". Why choose friends?

Some might have "not so good aura or personalities". However, we all have our good sides and I know that no one in this blue earth has never thought of having even a single friend. Some are popular. This is not a problem with them unless they find it problematic having thousands of people greeting them some sweet "hellos". Some have problems dealing with how will they tag each of their friends as true or not. Come on! Stop being non sense! You started hanging out and telling somebody your stories and you bother asking yourself if they were friends to keep or not? Both of you should have asked yourselves first : "Why did I make friends with him if I'm gonna mess up his life?" Then talk and kanpai! (well, I just imagined how better the world would have been if the word "traitor" does not exist!)

We have different paths to travel. At present, if not all, most of us are walking through these paths together with someone or a group of people. Sometimes, we cross our paths with strangers and after that, we realized that we made friends with them. Some might as well travel with us to share the same paths. That was really amazing!

We might have different paths but we all have the same destinations. But before mine ends, I want to cross paths with a lot of strangers. Make friends. Learn to appreciate people not by how they look, what they have done or who they are but how they put the effort on reaching into you.

 “The Person I Hated the Most – MYSELF”

“The Person I Loved the Most – HIM”

I guess it must be the other way around

October 13, 2013 12:00am 

I wrote this thing seven months ago . . .
Tonight, I was with HIM but he left me alone. I asked him not to leave me but he still did and there starts my new life.Hi. I am Ai. There are so much thoughts in my mind and I decided to write them down. I don’t know until when, maybe until this impossibly devastating feeling is gone. Yes, obviously, I broke up with my boyfriend. Should I say more? Everything went naturally. He left. I cried. Many people were concerned. They told me I would forget him eventually. Nothing’s unusual but the feeling I had—it bothers me.I can’t remember when exactly did all of these terrifying experiences began.  Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, me and my boyfriend were madly in love with each other. So mad that we always tell each other that we just want to stay right beside each other forever [well, that’s how I see it]. He’s always sweet and caring. Many things happened and I’ll find time to tell you all of them—just not now. But to summarize, all of his attention—only for ME [as much as possible]. Then, three months ago, he started to become cold—I mean really cold! He forgot to tell me how much he loves me and he spent less and less time talking with me. That was three months ago. By the way, I’ll give you a hint— three months had passed since we started LDR. [Oh my, I now feel what to blame!] Going back to the story, though I am far from him during weekdays since I have to go to  work and he’s busy in his study [I am not a sugar mommy—just want to clear that], I always come during weekends to spend those precious days with him. But when he started to become cold, of course, I wondered WHY [with the emphasis]??? Maybe, he was too busy—that’s how almost all people fool themselves. Well, it’s better to think that way than to plant some fishy thoughts to your mind. And Alas! That stupid thing really happened to me. I began to doubt him. -_- that was too unwise of me.However, that coldness became my motivation to work hard. I want to melt that ice between us. I started to try to be prettier? It was hard for me because I am not a gorgeous looking girl that could swept my man’s feet. All I can do is to make myself presentable. I also tried to surprise him many times. I just want to make him happy. Phew-_- But I was just a frustrating “wanna be”! Well, my plans were failures. All that is left is to trust him and it was not really hard. I knew he loves me [I still believe].I was too stupid not to bother him about what I was feeling by then. Who have thought that our seemingly flawless relationship before would end in a very harsh break up. I learned that he was chatting with some girl I do not know who. There’s nothing wrong with chatting. But with FLIRTING?? Obviously, there is. My very handsome and smart guy asked for that girl’s contact number. Uh oh. Hilarious! He was not that kind of person [as far as I know]. Honestly, I always tell him that if he fell out of love, he must tell me right away. That would be the best thing a gentleman would do, I guess rather than fooling around with some feeling “innocent” girl. Well, I’m sorry. I love my man and I never want him to be with somebody else’s arms. So, being so desperate, I asked the girl to stop. Common, I was his girlfriend and I thought I have the right. The girl was nice. Very very very nice that she told me that I should talk to my boyfriend and at the same time, she’d do my favor. I was happy. I thought I could resolve this one but Hell NO!! Oh my, my very nice girl continued texting my boyfriend. Phew… I never thought people like them really exist in this world. I never gave up but I was stupid not to.I lost the one I love in that instant. There was a time that he asked me to stay. He would talk to that girl and promised to come back. That night was too painful. I waited overnight but he broke his promise. I cried a lot because, honestly, I expected everything’s going to be fine. I should have quit that night but since I was too dumb stupid to realize that nothing’s going to happen, I waited again.Tonight, I was with him. He once said that he loved me more than her. I thought, some miracle would happen. Again, I was fooling myself. He left me alone tonight for the very nice girl. I was devastated. I was broke. Every part of me could feel the pain. My heart ached I could die. I WAS DUMPED.  Things I realized after our break up:

1.       I’m not weak. I’m just a girl who fell in love with a person. I wouldn’t say with a wrong person since I believe there’s no such thing as falling in love with a wrong person; sometimes, the place and time aren’t just right.

2.       I am a human being. I am hurt and my eyes shed tears. My heart aches and my mind blows.

3.       He is weak. My admiration for him is gone. I am stronger than him [at least I believe that]. I faced everything on my own while he is contented with going with the flow since whatever happens, it’s a win-win battle for him.

4.       If you couldn’t protect the things that are valuable to you, do not expect them to stay. There are people in this world who could hurt you just to get what they want.

5.       Smile and thank Lord for whatever is happening in your life. He is with you all the time.

6.       Love is not love until you express it. I pitied myself? Of course not. I pitied them. Happiness is when you share the love you have, not hurting others to achieve it.

I will just wait for my Kazehaya-kun =)

7.       Never fool yourself. Okay! Honestly, I love him so much that I do not know when to start moving on. I believe I do not have to do what everybody does—moving on every after a broken relationship. You should not be stressed by putting yourself in that “most unwanted” state. I do not have to stop loving him. It does not require that he loves me back. I can continue loving him as long as I want until the feeling fades itself.

8.        I am certain that someday, I would meet this guy who will make my heart skips its beats again.